Hey there. I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships lately and how they fit into the idea of living an inside/out life. This is a topic I don’t usually dive into deeply, but I’ve started to notice how much noise there is around relationships. Especially online. And a lot of it, honestly, leads people toward isolation.
Yes, there’s truth in the idea that you need to protect your peace. Yes, you need boundaries. But you also need connection. We aren’t meant to live alone in every sense of the word. We thrive in healthy relationships. That includes friendships, family, romantic partnerships, and even the small interactions we have with people in our day-to-day lives.
What I’ve come to realize is that you have to be connected with yourself before you can truly connect with others. That’s why I talk so much about the inside-out approach. Once you build that self-relationship, you’ll start to notice things. You’ll start to see how people respond to your growth. You’ll see which friendships feel mutual and which feel one-sided. You’ll catch the subtle patterns, not just the words.
Words mean very little without consistent action. If someone says they support you but constantly pulls you down or vanishes when things are going well, that’s not support. You don’t have to completely cut people out, but you do need to define what kind of access they have to you. You’re allowed to be kind and still be selective.
People come in and out of your life. Sometimes you make that call. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they return unexpectedly. The key is not to hold onto stories that make you the victim or the hero. Just observe what is. If someone used to be close and now they’re not, it doesn’t have to be a dramatic ending. It can simply be a shift.
One of the most important things I’ve learned is this. You need to be the kind of person you want to have in your life. If you want honesty, show up honestly. If you want people to support you, be that support for others. And maybe not for everyone, but definitely for those who matter.
You don’t need a million friends. You need a few people you trust. You need a strong connection to yourself. And you need to live life outwardly, not in isolation.
If you want more reflections like this sent straight to your inbox, sign up for my daily email. I’ll send you something real every afternoon to help you stay grounded in the life you’re building.