Hey there. For a long time, I lived my life trying to prove something. I didn’t always realize it, but deep down I was chasing validation. I wanted people to see me a certain way. Maybe it was to prove someone wrong. Maybe it was to finally feel like I was enough. But none of that ever really gave me what I was looking for.
The first step in changing all of that was acknowledging it. And let me tell you, that wasn’t easy. Admitting to myself that I was living for other people felt like a blow to the gut. But when I stopped judging myself and started simply observing my patterns, I was able to get curious instead of critical. I asked myself where it started. I thought about old relationships. People who may not even be part of my life anymore but still lived rent-free in my head.
And then I had to ask the bigger question… What exactly am I chasing? Am I looking for acceptance, love, approval, recognition? And if I am, can I give any of that to myself? Some of it, I definitely can. And some of it, I might still want from others. But that’s when I had to get really honest about whether the people I’ve been trying to get these things from are even capable of giving them.
When I saw they weren’t, I had to make changes. That meant redefining some relationships or stepping back entirely. That’s tough. Because even if it’s the right thing to do, it still feels like loss. It still hurts. You grieve the version of yourself that used to show up in those relationships. You grieve the identity you built around pleasing others.
Living from the inside out doesn’t mean cutting everyone off and going it alone. It means building a strong relationship with yourself and letting that guide how you move through the world. It means setting boundaries that are for you, not to control others, but to protect your peace. And it means reminding yourself daily that your worth doesn’t come from someone else’s opinion.
This is a slow process. You’ll have to reinforce it over and over again. But you can do it. You are allowed to live for yourself.
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