Hey there. There’s this idea we don’t talk about enough, and it’s something I’ve been sitting with lately. Explaining yourself to someone is not something you have to do. It’s something you choose to do. And when you do it, it’s not something others are entitled to. It’s a privilege.
We live in a world where context is rare. Most of what we see online are headlines, soundbites, hot takes, and absolute statements. So when someone actually takes the time to explain why they do what they do, how they think, how they feel… that’s not just casual conversation. That’s access. That’s trust.
And trust is a privilege.
I also think it’s important to flip that perspective. When someone chooses to explain something to you, that’s also a privilege. It’s not your right to question it, dissect it, or challenge it just because you heard it. They shared what they were ready to share. That’s enough. Whether or not you believe it fully or agree is your choice, but you were still invited into something most people never see.
The truth is, most people in our lives exist at a surface level. Think about it. You interact with coworkers, casual friends, online connections, even strangers who might make snap judgments about you based on one interaction. But they don’t know you. You don’t know them either.
Then there’s the closer circle. Friends, family, people you interact with more frequently. With some of them, you might respond with a yes, a no, or a quick comment. That’s where boundaries start. You don’t owe more unless you choose to offer more.
And then there’s the innermost circle. The people who truly get the context. These are the ones you choose to explain yourself to. The ones who earn your trust. That trust should never be assumed. It should never be demanded. It’s a decision you get to make.
That’s part of what it means to live from the inside/out. You decide what parts of your story are shared, how much, and with whom. You choose to show up in a way that feels honest but protected. You don’t owe everyone everything. And you don’t have to feel guilty for setting that line.
So if you’re someone who finds yourself constantly justifying, explaining, or feeling like you have to offer more than you want to, I hope you take a step back. Reclaim your space. Own your story. Share it when it feels right. And remember... it’s a privilege, not an obligation.
If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to join my daily email community. It’s where I share daily thoughts like this to help you live more intentionally from the inside/out.